


Love me till it hurts

by SleepyNightmare



Series: "Your my best friend" means "I love you" [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, Human AU, idk - Freeform, im too tired to do all this tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 15:10:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8406460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyNightmare/pseuds/SleepyNightmare
Summary: “Hey, Lex” “H- How did you find me?” “You left”Or: What happened with Astra and Alex and srta just how they ended up sleeping together. Alex leaves.....and Astra goes to find her after the 'Letter' thing.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I fixed it......i think?
> 
> I think if you read the previous one it'll make more sense- cuz i put stuff from the Letter in here

It’s Autumn and it’s cold. She had left one of her windows open while she slept because she _always_ sleeps with the window open, no matter the season. Kara always said that Alex would catch her death if she kept on doing that every winter. But despite Kara’s warnings, Alex always left the window open- and only now is she starting to regret it.

 

Icey cold winds breezes past her exposed legs, Alex shivers; having opted for a large white shirt that she ‘inherited’ (stole) from one of her ex’s, the hem of the shirt only reaching halfway past her thighs and black lace boy shorts.

 

Shuffling tiredly through her apartment; stifling a yawn on her way through the kitchen, Alex stretches tired limbs. Her legs weighted and her whole body warm with sleep, she wants nothing more than to go back to sleep; crawl beneath her silky smooth sheets and wrap herself in her favourite fluffy soft blanket- but unfortunately for her, she has the WORST best friend in the _entire_ universe.

 

_‘We’ve been best friends for a long time now’_

 

Who apparently doesn’t need to sleep at 2 in the morning, because ‘what the hell is she doing up?’ and here of all places, an hour away from where she lives (with Non, her boyfriend- no her _fiancé_ ,)  with only the sound of silence and a single car driving by to accompany her

 

She stumbles her way down a short flight of stairs to the sound of loud, insistent knocking; phone still in hand with the screen lit up and the words

 

 **_Alien General:_ ** _Lex, it’s me. Open up!_

 

Astra had earned that particular nickname in their college years, when Astra drank the strongest drink the bar could sell, the one that made all professional drinkers ‘chuck it’. People of all ages gathered around, bettings placed high along the small circular tables- trying to figure out when Astra would throw up (she was already seriously drunk, two martinis, five beers, six shots of tequila and a glass of bourbon; courtesy of one- unhelpful- Cat Grant). Loud chanting from the jocks and eager murmurs throughout the large crowd- which were immediately stunned to silence when Astra drank the whole thing- chugging the huge glass with ease, licking her lips as a cheshire cat smile took place on her lips.

 

‘General’ was the name of the drink, a drink made for a military man- well, that’s what the bartender had said when Alex placed the order. Alex only rolled her eyes, though she did have a bit of a smug smile when she saw his slightly bug eyed look as he watched Astra drink not one, but _two_ ‘Generals’.

 

Alien…..well that came from Astra’s insane alcohol endurance. No _human_ could drink as much as Astra did that night and _survive,_ because the hangover in the morning would be a real bitch; but Astra didn’t even wince when Alex threw back the curtains in the morning- letting the sun rays filter in, blinding light creeping it’s way up Astra’s face- she actually _smiled_ before skipping, _skipping_ her way to the shower.

 

The loud knocking increases

 

“Yeah, yeah. Hold on, I’m coming” Alex announces irritable as she swings the door open

 

“I hope not, that would be embarrassing- for both of us” Astra comments amusedly, but it falls flat at the end because Astra glances up-

 

“Damn Ash, you look like shit”

 

_‘You showed up at my house, unannounced but crying and heartbroken’_

 

“Thanks Lex, you do wonders for a person’s ego” Astra says dryly, brushing past Alex with red teary eyes, face pale and sad. Her voice hoarse and grating, like she’d been screaming or crying for hours

 

“What happened?” Alex asks tentatively, closing the door with one hand; placing the other hand in between Astra’s shoulders, over her smooth deep red autumn coat, her head turned down, dark brunette hair falling like a curtain- blocking her face from view.

 

“No-nothing” She chokes at the end of it, her throat clogging up with unshed tears

 

“Yeah Ash, ‘cause you cry for nothing all the time” Alex teases gently as she guides Astra up the stairs slowly, leading her to the lounge.

 

“I can cry for nothing if I want to, I’m human- humans do that, don’t they?” Astra questions confusedly, slumping against Alex’s gray sofa; kicking off her shoes as she tosses her phone on the couch across from her

 

“Ash, cut the crap. What’s wrong?” Alex almost winces at the harshness to her tone but when Astra just sighs sadly, Alex knows that treating Astra with ‘kid gloves’- won’t help her. It would just make it worse

 

“Non left” Astra says through a sigh, eyes closing as her body sinks into the couch. Hands running- no, _left hand-_ running tiredly through her hair, the ring catching and twisting wavy locks into it

 

“Again.” Astra mutters out annoyed, aggressively pulling her hand away from her head- releasing a hiss of pain as her hair tangles itself around her ring, knotting in on itself. Alex just sighs, reaching for the caught hand and unknotting it swiftly and carefully.

 

_‘Non, your boyfriend and just recently turned fiancé, was out of the country. A work related matter, he’d been doing that a lot lately…..’_

 

“A _‘work’_ matter” Astra says through a disbelieving scoff. Alex turns Astra's hand over carefully, palm up, tracing intelligible words on Astra's smooth cold skin for a moment before knitting their fingers together perfectly making Astra smile just slightly. Astra glances up at Alex, her eyes calculating as she stares at her for a while, her attention captured.

 

“How bad was it this time?” Alex asks distractedly, smoothing the hair on Astra’s head back into place. Astra keeps staring

 

“Pretty bad, he accused me of cheating” Alex snorts at that, Astra’s hand still held securely in her own

 

“Yeah, I know. He doesn’t know that I have a photographer friend that was in Atlanta at the same time as him and just so happened to catch him kissing another girl” Astra's tone is amused yet sad, resigned. Alex smiles softly at that, her eyes sympathetic.

 

_“Always restless, never settling, you thought he was cheating….i did too….”_

 

Because even though Alex never liked him, all that mattered was that Astra did. So Alex would have to accept him.

 

“Let me guess, James saw him sneak into a hotel room with the girl?” All Astra does is nod, using the hand that is held in Alex’s- she pulls. Forcing Alex to sit beside her, legs brushing against each other, thighs pressed up against one another. Astra’s warm body pulling her in, that enticing heat casting a spell over Alex’s own body

 

Alex shifts closer, allowing Astra to fit herself against her side as she burrows her head into Alex's neck, so Alex can't see the tears threatening to spill.

 

“Mmhmm” Is Astra’s mumbled reply, curling her body into Alex’s. Tucking her legs up underneath her as she presses into Alex’s soft yet solid form; Alex’s arm automatically draping itself over Astra’s shoulders in a imitation of protectiveness, security….. _love_

 

“I should be more surprised- I _want_ to be more surprised…” A soft murmur is whispered against Alex’s neck, warm breath ghosting over Alex’s skin, a stark contrast compared to Astra’s too cold lips as they leave faint impressions on her skin whenever Astra speaks

 

“-but you’re not” Alex finishes for her

 

“But I’m not” Astra repeats softly

 

“It hurts Lex” Astra admits quietly after a moment, sad brokenness finding it’s way into Astra’s voice and oh- that shouldn’t happen. Astra is meant to be happy, always happy. Not sad, not ever sad,.....should never sound so…. _broken_.

 

“I know Ash, I know” Alex says quietly, a moment passes and then two before Alex gets any type of response.

 

Warm silent tears tickle it’s way down her neck, Astra’s arms coming up to wrap around her waist as Astra buries her head into Alex’s soft collared shirt. A quiet shudder brushing against her ear as Alex’s arms curl around Astra’s shoulders of their own accord, squeezing tightly; pressing Astra into her body.

 

“Let it out Ash, let it all out” Alex whispers into her ear gently

 

And she did.

 

_‘I held you, while you cried…..’_

 

She cried, releasing a broken, heart shattering sob before squeezing Alex tighter. Astra sank into Alex’s arms, fell deeper and deeper as her sobs got louder and louder- the sound only slightly muffled through Alex’s shirt. The tears soaking through but Alex didn’t care, she murmurs reassuring phrases and rubs Astra’s back comfortingly, caressing the back of her head, smoothing Astra’s wavy locks.

 

And Alex just sat there and held her, long after Astra fell asleep, exhaustion taking over and forcing her body to sleep.

 

When Astra woke up, sad, lonely and pale, but better, less broken somehow. Alex suggested horror movies because-

 

_‘....Convinced you to watch a bunch of horror filled movies, to cheer you up….’_

 

“Ash the best way to cheer yourself up is to watch others scream pathetically and then die horribly! One pathetic idiot by one!” And Astra agreed because Alex was right, horror movies always cheered her up- because watching terrible actors, running for their lives and screaming at an annoying pitch. Always made her happier somehow.

 

Sifting through her horror collection, Alex picks the worst one and slips it into the DVD player. Rushing back to her seat with the remotes in hand, one arm automatically wrapping around Astra as she tucks the blanket more securely around the both of them.

 

Because Astra was dressed in nothing more than pyjama shorts, a long sleeved shirt and a soft wooly jumper underneath that deep red coat. Alex had grabbed her favourite fluffy blanket from her room, made some popcorn and shut the stupid window that made her cold in the first place.

 

Halfway through the movie, both Alex and Astra were laughing at the stupidly idiotic behavior of at least 80% of the cast on the screen. Actors screaming at the top of their lungs, trying to run away from what was chasing them.

 

If Alex was honest though, the acting is pretty much crap and frankly the special effects sucks; but it still made Astra laugh and Alex smile, her own laughter bubbling up her throat- because that sound, Astra’s laughter, is something that she will never get over.

 

That bright happy sound, so pure with freedom and untainted by the cruelties of life- of _Astra’s life_ . It’s one of those sounds that fill people with laughter and joy just after hearing it, _infectious_. It’s as if Astra lets it all go when she laughs, releasing every bad thought, every grudge, every hurtful comment, there isn’t a sound like that in this world, no one laughs how Astra laughs. No one can make Alex’s heart leap a mile and then slow to a beat like Astra can.

 

And she knows, she’s always known. What Astra does to her, what Astra _is_ to her. And what she is to Astra. She’s the person that makes Astra feel better- who she shares her secrets with, she’s the person that will listen and never judge, will smile and keep the lies to themselves. She’s the one that will spin a tale to get the other out of trouble. She will listen, be kind when it is wanted, and harsh and brutal where it is needed.

 

And why?

 

Because she’s Astra’s best friend.

 

And Astra is hers.

 

But there’s the other thing as well, the thing that keeps her up at night and weighs her down during the day….

 

She’s in love with _her….._

 

She’s in love with Astra- her best friend.

 

Wait no- she’s **_in love_ ** _with her_ **_best friend_ **

 

But her best friend doesn’t know it

 

(And she never will)

 

"Ash" Alex whispers through the quiet, the sound muted on the tv as the credits roll down the screen.

 

Astra had fallen asleep three quarters through the movie, exhaustion taking over once again. Her head is tilted back against the cushion of the couch, blanket curled around her fingers; her features manifesting a pained and sad look instead of the peaceful gentleness she usually has when she sleeps. The small crease in between her brows, her mouth tilted downwards as her fingers clench tightly around the soft blanket; knuckles whitening.

 

_‘...You fell asleep,....on my couch,....in my arms….’_

 

She looks so sad, so hurt- so _lonely_.

 

It makes her heart constrict painfully inside her chest.

 

Alex smooths two fingers over Astra's brow, the pained expression slipping away slowly until it eases into angelic peacefulness, she traces those same two fingers over Astra's temple, tucking the stray lock of hair behind her ear so that she's cupping Astra's face. Her hand curved around Astra's cheek, fitting into her palm as if her hand was made for just for this reason.

 

"Astra" Alex whispers softly, her tone gentle and kind, trying to coax Astra out of her dreams.

 

"Nooo-" Astra mumbles out tiredly, her face contorting before relaxing into peaceful slumber. Alex sighs for a moment before running a hand through her hair

 

"Okay Ash, go back to sleep" Alex murmurs softly, releasing a breath before bending to scoop Astra into her arms- slipping an arm beneath her knees and holding her against her chest with the other.

 

Astra doesn't even stir as Alex pulls her into her embrace.

 

She adjusts her hold on Astra, making sure she has her held securely. Astra's head lolls to the side a bit, but then Alex shifts her weight as she prepares to move and Astra places her head on Alex's shoulder.

 

Her temple pressing into Alex's chin, long fingers tangling in her white shirt as Astra’s breath ghosts along her collarbone. A single finger grazing the surface of her skin as it curls around the collar of her shirt; a shiver runs through Alex’s body at the small touch, glancing down at Astra's calm expression, her heart beating fast as she inhales Astra's scent, vanilla scented flowers and spicy fragrance entrancing her just the tiniest bit. Releasing a shuddering breath Alex begins to make her way to the guest bedroom, the one she usually reserves just for Astra.

 

_‘...I carried you to my guest bedroom,...’_

 

"You make it harder for me not to fall in love with you every day" Alex hears herself whisper quietly to the dark shadows stretching out from the end of the hallway, not noticing the way Astra's body tenses

 

_‘...Layed you down on the bed….’_

 

Shouldering the door open with her ‘unoccupied’ shoulder, Alex moves to the middle of the room, where a big queen sized bed sits. She lays Astra gently upon the silky soft gray sheets, Astra’s long legs distracting her for a moment as she takes in all that skin, smooth and soft as she skims her hand over those tantalising long limbs; trying to reach the blanket, at least that’s the reason she’ll let herself believe in the morning.

 

Pulling the comforter up over Astra's sleeping body, she tucks the covers under her chin, but then Astra twists onto her side, dragging the covers along with her until they wrap around her body. A hand slipping beneath the pillow as the other settles itself comfortably on top, Alex rests her hand against the side of Astra's head, smiling at the adorable picture Astra makes.

 

"I wish I could stop falling in love with you..." Alex admits lowly to no one in particular, if she was paying more attention, she would’ve noticed the way Astra’s eyelashes had fluttered open for a moment before quickly drifting shut- releasing a resigned sigh, Alex places a gentle kiss on Astra's temple.

 

She turns to leave, taking a step towards the door- a movie or two in mind since she doesn’t think she’d be able to sleep with the image of Astra’s sad lonely eyes staring back at her through her dreamlike state.

 

_‘....That’s when it happened….’_

 

But then a hand reaches out, halting her movement as familiar fingers curl themselves around her wrist in a firm grip; tugging her back to the bed.

 

_‘You reached out your hand, tugging me back into the soft sheets…..’_

 

Having been taken by surprise Alex falls back against the silky soft sheets, just managing to catch herself by bracing a hand on either side of Astra's head. She's about to release a string of annoyed curses but when she glances up-

 

_‘Me- stumbling because i was surprised…’_

 

Her words get lodged inside her throat, her mind drawing a blank. Astra's face is a hair breadths away from hers (inches from  _her lips_ ). Both Alex's hands splayed out next to Astra's head, her brunette colored hair fanning out around the too soft pillow as Alex’s hand sinks into it. Their torsos brushing up against each other with every breath they take, Astra's gray, pale blue eyes boring into her own.

Brown eyes flicker down to pink shadowed lips as they release quick shallow breaths before they return to enchanting gray eyes. Sadness, confusion, anxiety and....so much _loneliness_ staring back at her. A voice in the back of her head whispers the phrase ‘eye's are the window to the soul’....

  


_‘Your gray eye’s open and so very lonely……’_

  


.......until this moment, those words have never sounded more true.

 

"Alex"

 

A whisper and a whimper in one and god- that should be illegal for someone to sound like that, the invitation clear in her voice.

 

And really, she should be stronger than this, she should pull away; stammer an apology before shutting the door. She should laugh to break the tension that is beginning to swirl in the air, or lean back and pull away- just do _something_ because Astra is vulnerable and hurt and so very sad, she’s lonely and confused- and Alex should leave….she really _really_ should leave- _needs_ to leave.

 

Like _now_.

 

But the only thing she does is-

 

"Astra" Is Alex's breathless response

 

 _‘.....I fell into you and you pressed our lips together and-...._....’

 

And that must be all Astra needs because in the next second, Astra closes the gap between them, their lips meeting in a far from chaste kiss. _‘Everything seemed to slow down then…’_ Astra's hand slips around Alex's waist, _‘...our moments together flashing beneath my eyelids…’_ pulling Alex more fully on top of her. Greedy hands travelling along the length of Alex's back before tangling in her hair- _‘….You kissed me and it felt….it shouldn’t of felt good but it did….’_ nails scratching along her scalp and Alex can't help but moan at the mixture of pleasure and pain that sparks beneath her skin; blood beginning to boil in anticipation _‘It was like sparks going off inside my body…..’_

 

_‘It was like every cheesy line from a romantic novel…...but so much better....’_

 

_‘Because it was real.’_

 

Alex pulls away from the kiss, her breathing labored and her body flushed with heat and lust. She looks into Astra's eyes, searches the dark lustful look that Astra gifts her with, pupils blown wide and hair in disarray from Alex's wandering hands.

 

"Alex," Astra whispers against her lips again as she leans up from the pillows, Alex follows the movement like an entranced puppet, eager for the command that Astra will grant her

 

In the back of her mind, a thought races to the surface, logic beginning to clear her mind from the overwhelming lust that was clouding her mind

 

_Holy shit, what are we doing? Is this-_

 

But then Astra places a swift kiss against her lips and her head fogs up again, all traces of logic erased.

 

_‘And then things escalated….’_

 

"Fuck me" Astra breathes and Alex groans at the quiet command, lunging forward to crush their lips together as fireworks explode beneath closed eyes.

 

Greedy hands tugging away all materials so that they might find soft warm skin. Whispered words of clarity exchanged between the two, but still clouded over with uncontrollable lust

 

“We shouldn’t-”

 

“I know”

 

“You have a-”

 

“-boyfriend”

 

“Y-yeah. That”

 

“I know but-”

 

“I need you Lex, I’ve never needed anything _as much_ as I need you now.” Astra’s breathless words are accompanied with a whimper as Alex skims her lips and tongue over the sensitive skin on her neck.

 

Hands never stopping, always moving, always wandering. Just like their lips, just like their hands- their _minds_ . Just like their _bodies_ , desire travelling over every inch of their skin before slipping into the others, their desire twisting and looping around each other. Strengthening into an unbreakable bond.

 

So that they might never stop until what is needed can be given.

 

And what they both need is someone to satisfy the burning desire boiling deep inside their blood.

 

More specifically, they need _each other_ to satisfy the uncontrollable heat from inside them, as the flames of lust lick slowly up their skin.

 

Simple, really. (For tonight that is)

 

It feels better than it probably should,....for both of them.

 

"Fuck, Ash. You have no idea what you do to me" A hand snakes it's way under her shirt, running over firm muscles and grazing along the side of her breast teasingly

 

"I think I might have some idea" Astra whispers against her ear and Alex can practically _feel_ the smug smile that's taken residence over Astra's mouth

 

That night they slept together, rough and forceful. It was all about making the other scream their highest pitch or leave bruises all over the other's body, so that it might be served as a permanent reminder for one another, days after it's been done.

 

And they really shouldn't of done that- _no,_ they really shouldn't of done the next thing. They should've just fucked and let it go, they should've been satisfied with the sore exhaustion that weighed in their bodies.

 

It would’ve been just two friends having sex.

 

_‘We slept together’_

 

Nothing more.

 

…..If they hadn’t made Love.

 

‘ _And in the morning you regretted it……’_

 

But they did.

 

They fucked and when it was done, they made love.

 

It made everything so much more complicated

 

….made everything so much worse…..

 

_‘Goodbye Ash-’_

 

_“I love you…….”_

 

 

 

* * *

  
  
  
  


Alex slips the key into the lock, the winds picking up; blowing the autumn leaves into the dimly lit hallway. She runs a tired hand through her hair, tossing her shopping bags full of food on the table near the entrance; shaking her hair out to release the red autumn leaves tangled in her locks.

 

She’s been here for two days and she still isn’t sure what the _hell_ she’s doing.

 

The Lake House Cat had gifted her with on her twentieth birthday, she loves this place.

 

Not that the rest of the “gang” as Winn still calls it, knows. Only Cat, and maybe Kara. She had thanked Cat privately, almost immediately after Cat had told her. Pulling Cat away from the loud music and drunken idiocy that was beginning to storm it’s way into the room.

 

Cat had mumbled, in her Little Grant way (Gosh if she had said that to Cat,....she doesn’t think she’d be able to live through the glares Cat could murder her with), something along the lines of “Look Alex, I’m in a very committed relationship with my very beautiful girlfriend of two years- who you are childhood friends with-” but all Alex did was smile, a smile so blinding in the way it lit up her face that Cat said she could’ve given Kara a run for her money. Alex just laughed then hugged her, and Cat hugged her back.

 

That was the only moment where Alex ever understood Kara’s insane crush.

 

Because Cat had a way with people; she could slip into people's hearts without them even noticing, make the person care so deeply about her yet become so irritated as well, and when Cat endangers herself- in her usual reporter way- she makes said person go crazy with worry.

 

She has this, frankly astonishing ability to file away every important detail about each of her friends lives from _years_ ago; for example, when Alex and her mom were going through some problems, Cat invited her to stay at the Lake House that her own mother had bought for her, stating something stupid like “Kitty, You’re a teenager now. You can look after yourself while I fly to Las Vegas to meet snobby rich people that I use to ‘up’ my social status, blah, blah blah” (Cat wasn’t really listening).

 

But during her stay at the Lake House, she had grew very fond of the place. And Cat remembered. That’s what touched Alex the most, because at the end of the day- the person who will always be by your side if the day goes horribly- is Cat.

 

Shutting the door behind her, she makes her way down the hallway, past the clean wooden staircase and various pictures throughout her and her friends lives that was lining the cream coloured walls.

 

One of Cat and Kara when they were teenagers: Cat wearing black skinny jeans and a gray baseball jacket. Her arms folded as the smug grin curved perfectly around her mouth, sun beaming down and highlighting the blonde head of hair till it shined. Kara dressed in a red checkered shirt with the sleeves rolled up and blue faded jeans; her arm draped over Cat’s shoulder, golden hair and too blue eyes shining with happiness, her signature Sunny Danvers smile spread wide across her lips.

 

_“Danvers? But we’re not related” Alex questioned over her rim of hot chocolate, the three of them: Kara, Cat and Alex sitting out on Alex’s porch seat, staring up at the stars scattered across the night sky, to Alex it looked like numbers and maps, to Kara it looked like millions of white paint spots on a dark canvas, to Cat- ‘Stars. It looks like stars guys, what else are they supposed to look like?’ causing the three of them to burst out in giggles._

 

_“I know….but it just fits somehow. Doesn’t sound very bright if it’s Sunny Zorel now, does it?”_

 

_“....yeah, you’re right” Both Kara and Alex had replied after a moment_

 

_“I know” Was Cat’s smug reply_

 

Alex smiles fondly at the memory, her eyes skimming across the many picture frames

 

There’s one of Lucy and Alura outside their favourite cafe: Lucy’s arm wrapped around Alura’s waist, the other hand holding up a peace sign as she grins cheekily at the camera, Alura’s head tilted to the side so her cheek rests against the top of Lucy’s head; her smile blinding and on the midst of breaking out in laughter.

 

_“Gosh I’m starving. I haven’t had breakfast yet” Lucy announced as she entered the cafe, Alura and Alex following close behind._

 

_“Probably because you didn’t eat dinner last night” Alex commented amusedly which Alura grins at, quickly finding their preferred table Alex and Alura take a seat as Lucy slumps into hers with a dramatic flare_

 

_“That’s not my fault!”_

 

_“Yeah it is, you were ‘too entranced by Channing Tatum’s abs to care’” Alex says cheekily as she imitates Lucy’s tone from the night before_

 

_“I was not!”_

 

_“I think the millions of cut out pictures of Channing Tatum with his shirt off, scattered across your bedroom floor this morning say different, Little Bird” Alura chimes in helpfully_

 

_“Little Bird” Alex repeats and then snorts at the glare Lucy sends her way “Never gets old” Alex says with a grin_

 

_“Shut up Danvers, Astra calls you her ‘Brave One’”_

 

_“Hey! Only Astra gets to call me that and- wait….what were you doing in Lucy’s bedroom this morning?” Alex asks confusedly, her head tilted towards Alura in question_

 

_Both Lucy and Alura turn bright red_

 

Alex snorts softly at the memory, breezing past the pictures of a teenaged Winn and James standing beside a very tall Clark Kent

 

_“Geez you're both so tall”_

 

_“No, you’re just too short”_

 

_“Oooo…..buurrrrrn”_

 

_“Whatever, Mr Tights”_

 

 _“Winn! That was a_ **_secret_ ** _, and I told you. It was for football! We had to do ballet- ballet is a very manly sport you know and Lois said-”_

 

Her fingers brushing along the wooden frames adoringly with reverence, a slow nostalgic smile having taken residence on her lips….skimming fingers across familiar frames until it lands on one in particular-

 

She stops, reaching out to take the picture frame off the wall. A teenaged version of herself smiling fondly at the camera, the bright lights of the carnival blurring out behind her younger version as the camera’s focus settles on the two people in the photo. Running her finger along the words written across the polaroid-

 

**Till the moon stops shining- You’ll never be rid of me, Brave One ;)**

 

A young Astra stares up at her, eyes alight with happiness and joy as the corner of her lips tick up into an amused grin. Astra’s arm draped across the younger version of herself; a toy gun held in the other, playfully aimed at the person taking the picture- Alura. Young Alex holding her own toy gun, the toy object hanging loosely at her side, head tilted on an angle so her head rests on Astra’s shoulder- making the two younger versions seem like a happy teenaged lovestruck couple.

 

_“It would be so easy to kill you right now” Astra says playfully, teasing grin spread across her lips as she keeps her hand raised- gun perfectly aimed at Alura’s heart. Alura doesn’t even flinch_

 

_“Yeah you could…..if the gun wasn’t a toy” Alura states and Alex muffles her laugh behind a hand at Astra’s outraged expression_

 

_“Lu- lu!”_

 

_“What?”_

 

 _“Nothing- just…._ **_nothing_ ** _. You ruined it. My coolness meter was shot down by like- a_ **_gazillion_ ** _points” Astra says with a resigned sigh, Alex still held comfortably against her side- her head buried in Astra’s neck as she tries to stifle her giggles_

 

_“Good”_

 

 _“You’re the worst twin sister_ **_ever_ ** _”_

 

 _“I’m still your sister._ **_Older_ ** _sister” Alura states with emphasis, Astra just rolls her eyes_

 

_“Not for long. I could disown you, you know”_

 

_“You could…..but you won’t” Alura says through a smile,_

 

_“Yeah,....I won’t” Astra smiles and Alex grins_

 

_“Come on Brave One, I saw Kara and Cat heading over to the popcorn machine, so we better get to it before Kara scoffs all of it down” Astra says as she begins to tug her through the crowd, placing a quick kiss on her cheek-_

 

“That’s my favourite picture, you know” A familiar voice comes from behind her and Alex spins so fast that it takes a moment for her to focus her eyes on the blurring scenery, her breath catching as she hitches out a name-

  


“Astra?”

  


Astra stands at the end of the hallway, arms crossed as she leans against the wall casually. Looking so much better than the last time Alex saw her, quiet and reserved; barely uttering a word before slipping out the front door while Alex was in the shower.

 

Now she looks healthy and bright, all traces of red rimmed eyes and too pale skin gone. Her eyes are warm yet cold at the same time (but Astra’s eyes have always been like that); her skin clear as it reflects every bright surface; making her whole body glow warmly.

 

She looks _happy_.

 

(She must’ve fixed things with Non then)

 

Alex almost wants to smile. _Almost._

 

“Hey, Lex” Astra whispers, closing the distance between the two of them in three quick strides

 

“H- How did you find me?” Alex stutters out, but Astra ignores her question as she advances on her, Alex takes a single step back but Astra keeps going, like a woman on a mission.

 

“You left” Is all Astra says, quiet and questioning at the same time; as if she doesn't know why, as if she doesn't know what they _did_

 

When she reaches Alex, she doesn’t stop. She presses up against Alex’s body with surprising ease, framing her face tenderly in both hands, staring into her eyes for a moment. Just staring. Her eyes skimming across her face like she’s looking for something; Alex just stands there, too stunned to do anything else besides try to figure out what Astra is looking for.

 

Astra must find it because in the next moment she releases a sigh of relief, before crushing their lips together. Warm soft lips moving gently against her own, so soft and tender that it makes Alex want to cry; Alex tries to pull back- to keep her head clear and save her heart the inevitability of it being crushed later- but Astra’s hands keep her in place and Alex has no other choice but to give into the feeling of the kiss.

 

The familiar sparks igniting her skin, setting her blood to a simmer. Her heart starting to race as her hands wrap around Astra’s waist. Arms tightening until their bodies fit together, she barely registers the soft thump as her back hits the wall; Astra kisses her softly, lovingly and Alex can feel that familiar cliff she keeps falling off of, creep closer and closer towards her, the ground beginning to crumble beneath her feet as she falls harder and faster for Astra.

 

(God she's so in love....so very, _hopelessly_ in love.)

 

She doesn’t even notice the tear that slips free from her lashes.

 

Astra’s the one who pulls away first

 

“That" Astra whispers against her lips, mouth tingling from the sensation of the kiss; a smile starting to spread across her lips as she nudges her nose tenderly against Alex's "Is for leaving without saying goodbye properly”

 

"You left first" Was Alex's slightly dazed reply, fingers clenching around Astra's waist

 

"I know" Astra admits quietly; bringing their temples together and placing a quick kiss on Alex's nose; Alex scrunches her nose at that and Astra smiles at the adorable sight.

 

Astra makes a mental note to do that more often, just so she can see that expression on Alex’s face.

 

"I hate it when you do that" Alex says through a sigh, temples still pressed together. Arms still wrapped around one another, she feels her heart began to beat in sync to Astra's own slowing pace.

 

"Do what?" Astra questions with a smile, arms tightening as Alex buries her nose in Astra's neck; vanilla scented flowers and gentle spices surrounding her.

 

 _Hypnotizing_ her.

 

"Make me love you more" Alex admits softly and Astra smiles

 

"Good”

 

“Good?” Alex question, her brows furrowing in confusion. Astra just smiles, the pad of her thumb running over Alex’s cheekbone- warm fingers brushing away the wetness on Alex’s cheek.

 

“Yes. ‘Good’” Is all Astra says and Alex lets out a frustrated sigh

 

“Ash, you’re not making any sense.”

 

“I love you” Astra blurts out suddenly just as Alex finishes the sentence; not leaving any time for Alex’s words to evaporate in the air as the blush rises high on her cheeks. Averting Alex’s stunned gaze, Astra glances to her left

 

When no reply comes from Alex, Astra looks back; Alex’s slightly gobsmacked look staring back at her

 

“What?”

 

“Y- you love me?” Alex stutters out, her head having a hard time wrapping around it.

 

“Yeah, I do” Astra admits shyly

 

“Like, _love me_ love me. As in- more than a friend?”

 

Astra nods; a small smile starting to make it’s way onto her lips as she takes in Alex’s shining eyes, those dark brown eyes pulling her in deeper and deeper so that she might drown. Her heart beginning to swell and then constrict painfully inside her chest

 

To Astra; drowning has never looked more appealing

 

Gosh she’s so in love…

 

“I love you Alex- there isn’t enough words in the universe to explain how much. You make every dreary day become more than bearable-”

 

“Gee, thanks?”

 

“Hush, I’m trying to be romantic” Astra admonishes playfully as Alex chuckles quietly

 

“Sorry, do continue with the ‘romancing’”

 

“......you make my heart beat race.” Astra swallows, her throat beginning to dry at the idea of admitting her feelings. Feelings, she didn’t even have a name for a few days ago- but now, staring into those eyes that blessed her dreams and haunted her nightmares. She thinks it might just be worth it- _is_ worth it.

 

“You make me want to smile every time I think of you. You laugh and I get this strange fluttering in my stomach. You look at me and my heart squeezes painfully inside my chest- I don’t even think my heart is actually _mine_ anymore, because _every time_ you’re near me. It’s like I give up all ownership to it……..you made me better, _happier…_ ...you made me feel loved- no, _you_ **make** me _feel love_ ” Astra confesses, her lungs burning for air as she takes a deep shuddering breath

 

Alex’s eyes water slightly, her arms tightening around Astra’s waist; pulling her closer until their cheeks brush, her hand sliding upwards to press gently in between Astra’s shoulder blades. Her cheek pressing into the side of Astra’s temple for a moment before Astra burrows her head into Alex’s neck; She inhales deeply when Astra presses a kiss to her neck, gentle and soft.

 

“Good” Alex repeats, the same words that had started this confession, into Astra’s ear; Astra smiles against Alex’s neck, placing a quick kiss to the end of her jaw before pulling back from the embrace, not far enough to break but close enough to hold.

 

“Good” Astra agrees, her head lowering as the love sick smile takes place on her lips

 

“Just so you know,” Alex admits, tilting Astra’s chin up; her soft full lips brushing against Astra’s as she speaks, “I love you too”

 

Astra barely registers she’s speaking at all, but then the words hit her and she smiles, wide and bright.

 

“I know”

 

“Astra”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Shut up”

 

“Make me” Astra retorts playfully

 

And then Alex kisses her; effectively shutting her up for the next….three minutes....until they realized that breathing is an essential part of living and then they stumbled their way up the stairs. Drunk on the others lips, in love with the way the other would smile at the sweet kisses placed on flushed cheeks.

 

In the morning, they will have to talk. About things, about how they are going to tell their friends, about how Cat knew about the two of them, about Non and what Astra did- how she broke off the engagement while he was a whole ocean away, and how angry he had became. She’d have to tell Alex that Cat was the one who told her where she was and that she threatened Astra “If you ever hurt her like this again Astra, I don’t care that you’re a government agent, I don’t care that you’re my fiancée’s cousin or aunt, I don’t care that we’ve been friends since high school-I will beat the crap out of you. And yes okay, I’m giving you ‘the speech’ but-”.

 

They’d have to talk about _everything_ …..

 

…..And Astra can’t wait for it.

 

Because Alex- well….to put it simply.

 

She’s in love.

 

And Alex loves her back.

 

Alex wants to start a life with her, Alex _loves_ her.

 

She can’t wait to start living in the morning. With Alex.

 

 _Her_ Alex.

 

Astra smiles softly as she pulls Alex closer; sheets and limbs tangled around their bodies, clothes scattered along the floor, arms wrapped around one another in a tight embrace, their hands knitted together on top of the pillow, Alex’s breathing evening out. Small strands tickling the side of Alex’s nose, Astra brushes the hair away from her face; tucking it behind her ear as Alex scrunches her nose up adorably.

 

Yeah, _Her_ Alex.

 

Astra tightens her arms around Alex waist, Alex squeezing her hand reassuringly through her sleepy state

 

As Astra feels the familiar pull of sleep, her last conscious thought is of Alex smiling brightly at her- and she makes a silent vow to whatever god is listening that she will make sure that Alex never loses that smile. Her dreams tug her forward and suddenly she’s staring at Alex who is smiling that bright blinding smile again, Alex’s hand reaching out to her- the whisper of “Astra” on her lips causing her heart to stumble over a beat.

 

Astra accepts the hand without a second thought, unable to keep the lovesick expression from painting itself across her face.

**Author's Note:**

> I know it ended a bit abruptly but i don't like endings so i just sorta....cut it off?
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy!


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